Goodness!!!

Good Lord!

Why did I write all this junk on my blog? It is as if it were a different person....what is the point of such philosophical brooding...but then there isn't much point of most things...anyways....

Island

Is it possible to understand and condemn together?...I think one can never condemn if one truly understands....but then full understanding is an impossibility......after all we can live only under our own skin....it is so alienating to be misunderstood ...to find no confirmation of one's beliefs, ideals and actions.......to be alone...like an island...disconnected....But, I wonder if understanding is necessary......Can't love suffice?......Understanding is limited by the mind.....love is not.....Love perhaps is based on knowledge that everyone is bewildered by the world ...the strange fact of existence...and that everyone tries to cope in their own way....and suffers in their own way....

The World...

".....And I, infinitesimal being, drunk with the great starry void, likeness, image of mystery, felt myself a pure partof the abyss, I wheeled with the stars, my heart broke loose on the wind...."

What is it....I find myself bound by time and space....I see people, trees, plants, the sea, the sun, the moon, the stars....I see beggars and I see the rich...the ugly and the beautiful...at times I feel happy, at times i am sad.....How peculiar....how strange...How did I come to experience all this....I could be in a dream....

I noticed the other day..that is how dreams are....In my dreams, I find myself engrossed in situations...and never once wonder how I got there....what my past was..or what I would like my future to be....Dreams are reality sans the time dimension......Reality seems like frames from dreams woven together by time.....

But it must be what it must be

Shades

Yesterday I felt like when one sees the sun light up the world after days of rain....like one feels when one hears the church bells breaking the silence of a lonely evening....like when one sees a lit lamp in a temple after being lost for hours in a forest....like how an eagle must feel when it flies....like how children feel when they play...like a still lake must feel.... like there need not be any meaning, reasons, causes....like I was free...

On Identity

"Parichaya itna Itihaas yahi umdi kal thi mit aaj chali"

Mahadevi Varma

I wish I stood for something.....I wish i could define myself....I wish I had something I could live by, defend and die for....an idea that i could devote my life to...i wish I could say i am religious, or an atheist...or that i believe in capitalism or communism.....or that I am a conservative or a liberal.........I wish I knew where I stand now and why.....and where I want to be and why....i wish I wasn't lost........I wish I wasn't living from day to day pursuing empty pleasures....like eating, sleeping, watching movies, hanging out with friends, and planning next vacations.......I wish I was alive....I wish I was engaged earnestly with the world in some manner....i wish I could give meaning to my life.......

"guzar raha hoon kuch anjani rahguzaron se na koi raah na manzil na roshni ka suragh bhatak rahi hai khalon mein zindagi meri inheen khalon mein rah jaaonga kabhi kho kar"